To achieve better outcomes in life, the first step is to embrace reality as it is. Simply put, we need to have the most accurate view of the world around us. If our understanding is flawed, we might take actions that don’t work or even make things worse, leading to less-than-ideal results. To navigate life successfully, aligning ourselves with reality is essential. To "win" at life, we need to know the rules—or at least understand them well. This begins with accepting things as they are, not as we wish they were.
Should vs. Is
Have you ever thought, "There should be no poverty," or "I should make more money"? These thoughts can be disempowering because they focus on how things aren’t the way they should be. This mindset can make us overlook reality, living in an ideal world where everyone is happy and successful.
While it’s great to envision a better world, it’s important to start by honestly assessing the current reality. Ignoring reality won’t help us take the right actions.
Should vs. Could
A more empowering approach is to replace "should" with "could." While "should" suggests something is wrong with the present situation, "could" opens up possibilities without judgment. For instance, saying "I should be working" implies something is wrong with not working. On the other hand, "I could be working" acknowledges the current reality and offers a choice.
Using "could" instead of "should" helps you see possibilities without feeling guilty. Here are a few examples:
- "I should be married" vs. "I could be married" – The latter acknowledges that you’re not married now but leaves room for future choices.
To develop an accurate view of reality, accept things as they are. This is the first step toward envisioning and creating a better future.
Uncovering Your Assumptions
Identifying Your Assumptions
When you set a goal, you start making assumptions about what you need to do to achieve it. These assumptions might suggest the goal is unrealistic or that you need to take specific actions. For instance, if you’ve written a book and want it to be a best-seller, you might assume that going on national TV will boost sales. However, these assumptions can often be inaccurate.
Acting on flawed assumptions can waste your time and energy, leading to failure. For example, one writer friend went on national TV to promote his book but saw negligible sales. Another spent years writing a book, expecting it to sell well due to its quality, but it didn’t.
Before working on any goal, identify your erroneous assumptions and replace them with accurate ones. The better you get at this, the more likely you are to succeed.
Testing Your Assumptions
Once you’ve identified your assumptions, the next step is to assess their accuracy. Don’t worry if you’re unsure about their accuracy at first. As you research and gather information, you’ll improve their accuracy.
Revising Your Assumptions
Forget your previous assumptions and start over by asking, "What do I really know for sure?" and "What is truly accurate?" For example, if you love writing but assume you can’t make money from it, research to find the truth. You might find that while most writers don’t make much money, some earn a living from their books.
The goal is to drill down and find quality information to help you take appropriate actions to achieve your goals. Reducing the amount of luck needed for success starts with accurate assumptions.
Sharpening Your Thinking
Improve your reality model by asking smart questions:
- Do I believe I will achieve my goal? Rate your confidence from 1 to 10.
- Do I have a track record of achieving similar goals?
- What makes me think I will reach this goal? What evidence supports this?
- Do the people around me believe I will achieve my goal?
- Do I have the energy and time required to achieve this goal?
- How many people have achieved this goal before?
- Who has achieved this goal before?
- Why is this goal important to me?
- If I keep doing what I’m doing, will I achieve my goals? What needs to change?
- What are the best strategies to follow?
- What does my intuition tell me to do?
By embracing reality, uncovering assumptions, and refining your understanding, you can set yourself on a path to achieve your goals more effectively.
This content is borrowed from the book "Master Your Thinking A Practical Guide to Align Yourself with Reality and Achieve Tangible Results in the Real World" by Thibaut Meurisse.
Book: https://a.co/d/04QTy9f0