Overall, our species is changing — humanity and the essence of robotics and advanced technology will no longer be entirely separable. The effects of this change nature and the way Earth functions as a whole. That is evolution, and really, it's nothing quite new. Sometimes evolution can be scary when you see it coming. We are in a transitional era. But when it comes to mass change, there is nothing unpredictable about it— which is why the veil on thinking about AI can’t be so entirely evil and dystopian. If it wasn’t this changing the trajectory of our species, it would be something else. The changes coming are infinite, but one of the big changes (on the theme of Valentines day) will be in mating, relationships, reproduction, and genetics.
This article will start at the beginning: dating apps.
First, AI-driven dating app algorithms shape who you meet, and who you never even see. They measure who you are based on your behavior on your phone. The point is to meet the person for you faster. The high-speed chase of a capitalistic society encourages looking for the end product, not the journey. But how do we know whether the way we are being evaluated for match-narrowing is truly helpful? What metrics are our personalities, emotions, histories, and interests being evaluated by? It's not like a human matchmaker, who can get to know you deeply and discern who you are against their internalization of the other person on a real level.
Next, let's say you get a match. Some people use bots to do their swiping and decide who they want or don’t want. Some people use bots to have conversations with potential matches because they don’t want to be overly involved with the effort it takes to build a connection, and simply want the end result of an in-person meeting. Often, this is all happening based on AI optimized profiles.
Third, the gratifying nature of the way these apps are structured also makes it feel like a competitive game of performance. And lastly, AI helps people craft texts, openers, apologies, and flirty banter, which can reduce anxiety for socially nervous daters by giving them conversational scaffolding. But, this is of course, completely inauthentic and can't be fulfilling in the long run. It takes a lot of work to be yourself, be vulnerable, and devote energy and time to relationships --- which is ultimately what makes them fulfilling: risk and repair. Correction. Finding safety in feelings of threat. Being seen and being kept. The hard parts are what make the good parts.
There will be attempts to convince us humanity, and true love, can be manualized. Do you think it can?
Sometimes, people just settle for dating the robots themselves. People form attachments to AI even while knowing it isn’t a real person. AI companions and chatbots provide pseudo-intimacy that can compete with human relationships given the ease and comfort. The result is drastically poor for mental health outcomes. AI can lower the threshold for sexual content consumption through personalization and constant availability, which also has implications for mood management. It can reshape sexual expectations by reinforcing fantasy over mutual human responsiveness, potentially having poor outcomes on real-life sexual behavior. Some people may prefer AI intimacy itself, because it’s safer, controllable, and rejection-free. Men are more likely to engage in this behavior, and are also most at risk for mental health crises.
What can we do to convince people to rely on other people again? In a world full of poor news, disconnection is brewing. There are ways to use the internet to connect people and work against this in the opposite direction. There are ways to use the internet in moderation, not in extremes of filling and avoiding our wounds, to help us connect. The line of using the internet for connection into AI as "replacements for connection" just simply can't be crossed.